rainy tears go away from my life

im having a big problem.my eyes are swollen as i cant stop crying.lately my life is miserable and i need a place to confess everything.i never been this sad before.as u know im studying in maktab ipoh.yesterdayy i've got a call from mara that i passed the interview so they called to inform me to register on 19 july at kolej mara seremban.i told my mom thinking she might give me some time to think bout it.my mom said okayy u think first and make a decision.last night my dad called to tell me that i should be staying here as im working under government not a department.okayy im crying thinking how my life has been decided by my parents.i told my mom to call mara to ask more details bout this things.then i knew just now the offered is for overseas means i have to stdy at kms for 2 yrs then i will fly to new zealand for 4 yrs if my pointers achieve their target.my mom and dad didnt allow me to leave this maktab.im fine with it but to stdy overseas is my dream since i was small.when i told my mom that is my dream she asked me to go there for holiday when im working later.to be honest im so frustrated.staying alone in this room makes my eyes teary again.i hope someone will understand me but i guess no one will never understand me.most of my friend said that it has fated for me to be here.i dont care if i have to stay here like 20 yrs as im comfortable staying here.i've got many understanding friends but it is my dream.is it wrong for me to chase my dream?when im sitting for spm they told me to get straight a's to stdy overseas but when i got it they asked me to follow their decision.im not talking bad bout my parents but im so dissapointed of them.u have got no idea how frustrated i am.i hope time can cure everything that i will delete this stupid decision form my life.i dont want to regret this later when i have kids.